As you go about life doing your thing and learning your lessons, you are going to come into contact with people who are going to make you feel like you are doing some things wrong. It can be strangers, friends, co-workers, classmates, siblings, and even your parents. That is why it is extra important to be prepared for the illegal planting of weeds (negative opinions), in your brain.
How to Protect Yourself from Judgements
Okay, we are definitely not talking about God judging us right now, we are talking about the people in your life who think their opinion matters enough for them to uninvitingly share it with you leaving you discouraged about your life and plans. Those are the “judges” I need to address to you. The first step in shielding judgements is knowing where the source is. If you have that one friend who only sees the worst in everything, this is someone that is perfect for you to practice these techniques and tips on (people are ridiculous).
Avoid sharing life plans and exciting new innovations that are happening in your life to this person
Never ask this person for advice or their input unless they are a scientist and you are doing a study relevant to their expertise. If it has to do you with you and your personal life decisions, this is not the person to share it with.
If you have excellent news, don’t even tell this person. They will only hit you with more harsh judgements because they can’t stand that you are doing something and they might not be doing as much.
Show this person as much support as you can (if you care about the relationship i.e. it’s your dad or your sister-in-law).
If you ever did or said anything that would make them resent you, address it immediately and apologize for it. Let them know what it taught you and how you know your relationship is stronger for it (let that be true).
Forgive them for everything they’ve ever done no matter how bad they made you feel. Know that they are not the ones responsible for the feelings they provided you with. They were just the tool God used to teach you what you learned.
Make direct eye contact when they are talking to you and listen to what they are saying.
Always give them positive encouragement when speaking about their life and what they are doing.
Ask God to wrap them up in a bright light of peace and happiness and pray that the Holy Spirit consumes them.
If you can practice these things while dealing with miserable people who you can’t get rid of, I know you will have a more bearable relationship. It is always key to notice who you have problems with and why. Ask yourself how they challenge you and how can you be better at responding to them. Figure out ways to prevent arguments as much as possible. Sometimes is fun to see how long you can go without a fight or a bad feeling from that person.
Always remember…
No matter how discouraged they make you feel, it is most likely because they are very discouraged. This means that they need your prayers. If someone ruins your day for no reason, they are not a terrible person, they are most likely having a terrible day themselves. This is when it is most important for us to swallow our egos and treat them nicely with respect and remove yourself from the situation. Whatever it is that is bothering them, doesn’t have to bother you too. Negativity is a disease and I wish I could cure it. We can fight negativity with positivity, so keep on loving.
P.s. The advice I just gave about forgiving them and being supportive of them and never sharing your own happiness is something I am still working on. I am perfecting my method to getting along with unhappy people and it’s not easy.
Please write a comment on your best practices of dealing with unhappy people!
Thanks for reading!